Halfway there

Back in Sydney, I lived next door to a halfway house all my life. If you aren't sure what they are, halfway houses are services that provide the previously physically, emotionally, or mentally unwell,  criminals, and recovering substance abusers with the essential skills and confidence to reintegrate into society. The goal is to facilitate a client to transform from being "half-way there" to being "fully there" in order to live a full life.

To me, Hong Kong will always be my halfway house. Being there especially substantiated the half-life I once lived during my first two years out of high school - when my heart dwelled in two time zones, but my body only in one. We yearn to be where our beloved dwells. We yearn to reconnect with our ancestry and roots, culture and traditions. It is only human to do so. Yet, who we love, who loves us, and where home is located and determines the outcome of the niggling in our hearts.

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Second generational migrants are fated to live in limbo - where we are neither of one culture or another. In Hong Kong, they are surprised I can speak Cantonese as if it is a novelty, yet I miss so many cultural cues and trends and fads. In Australia, they are surprised I can speak English well, love kicking back when off duty, don't keep myself to myself, and celebrate the achievements of others sincerely, yet when I succeed I am accused of chasing status and working too hard "as the Chinese do". Yet there is a culture that one can hold secure to. The culture of heaven - one that speaks of kindness, forgiveness, mercy, and loving our neighbours and God because He loved us first. If heaven is everlasting home, we can all be weird cousins who have a core commonality.

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Lovers putting each other on a pedestral only destroy each other and will never truly be at home with each other. You'll keep giving until you have nothing left to give. Trust and hope will inevitably be broken by human imperfection. When Ozymandias falls from his pedestral your eyes will open and you will be shattered, maybe even beyond forgiveness. You saw a lie, the only parts of the person you wanted to see, not the full picture, even though neither of you meant to lie to each other. Pseudo-criminal, devilishly handsome, sarcastic and witty lad, a gentleman, and a sexy kind of charming dreamer. That is the same person as he whose pursuits land him in ICU and a with lawsuit for Christmas, the same person who uses his silver tongue to achieve his selfish goals, and makes promises he probably wants to but is too lazy to commit to. No, in order for lasting success, it is better to make your home with Jesus, to place your common hope and love and trust in the infallible and wonderful and kind master whose yolk is light. Then you will have a common source of love, hope, and forgiveness, and build a trust that puts aside jealousy so that you will both thrive and grow in selflessless to look beyond yourself, your partner, family, and best friends to overflow with joy and love for others in the world.

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Sometimes it's the dark places, dark experiences, and failures that shape us. But good thing it is God and not the devil that moulds me into His likeness through these seasons. I think the day I stop seeing Hong Kong as a halfway house will be a hallmark of immensely moving past myself.